Friday, January 30, 2009

What!?! The new chairman of the Republican National Committee is a black man?

It’s true!!!! It’s true!!!!! Michael Steele won 91 votes out of a possible 168. His main challenger, Katon Dawson, received the remaining 77 votes. Ken Blackwell, the other black guy, only had 15 votes. That number included family members from his mother’s side (okay I’m just joking). How unpopular are you when you only get 15 votes? Only two black guys running and he still couldn’t stand out. It wasn’t like running against Michael Steele split the vote. He had the lowest number of votes. Damn! You can’t win them all or in his case you can’t win anything. I never heard of this Katon Dawson character. I was listening to the results over the radio and it sounded like the announcer said Katie Dawson. I thought it was a last minute ploy to hold Steele back. I call that move “A Sarah Palin.” I still can’t believe The Grand Ole Party handed the reins over to the ancestor of a slave. I wonder what Jesse Helms would think about this? It is said Lyndon Johnson proclaimed "There goes the South for a generation," after signing the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Because of this act, racist Democrats left to join the Republicans. And ever since then, the Republicans have been giving black folks hell. But does this win mean that the Republicans are turning over a new leaf . . . or in their case a New Tree?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

How to Handle Being Fired

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Blago, please keep Dr. Kings name out of your mouth.

I think Governor Rod Blagojevich is a better comedian than a politician. If I lived in Chicago, I would probably dislike the guy. He is hilarious to me. How he plays black folks against whites is a stroke of genius. It's wrong but it was a gangsta move. But, I don’t want him to bring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. into this foolishness. If you need to evoke someone, bring up Thomas Jefferson.

Tell NAFTA to put down my Spicy Chicken Sandwich

On Monday, we received news that 65,000 job were slashed. I’ve been predicting that 2009 would be a bad year. I knew things were bad but we are getting near the bottom. Jack in the Box, a fast food restaurant, has been out sourcing their drive-thru since mid 2008. How do you out-source a drive thru? I know the company was trying to be more efficient but is this how?

When I call about my Credit Card I have to talk to someone in India. Is this what will happen when I want a milkshake? How many more jobs are we going to lose? These aren’t high paying jobs to begin with. We have given away the store in this country. In an effort to have bigger and cheaper for faster, we have let other countries control our fate. I don’t know of anything that is made in America anymore. I live in North Carolina, formally a Mecca for buying Furniture, and my coffee table came from England. I thought some guy would go to Asheville and cut a tree down. I ended up waiting for the slow boat to bring the table. What if the boat had of sunk? Then my coffee table would be with Davey Jones Locker. I don’t mind toys from Taiwan, but can’t we have toys from Tennessee as well? The Germans and the Japanese have already strong armed us in the car game. Don’t get me wrong because Honda makes nice cars. America use to be known as a nation that built things. Our manufacturing was the backbone of this country. Now I can’t even get a chair from down the street.

I know how Corporations work. Today they will take orders in the U.S. Tomorrow they will be taking orders from Indonesia. Corporations work by one rule. Make a lot using less. It’s the new American cost of doing business. But if I go to Taco Bell and this happens………………………..

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Did Condi at least get a cake and a gift card from Starbucks?

The folks at the State Department were real happy to see Hillary Clinton walking through the door. They were cheering for her like she had liberated them. If they were this happy to see Clinton, then what was it like working for Condoleezza Rice?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Giving homage to those who deserve it.

There are many dangers that lurk out in the naked city. And I appreciate this dude keeping us abreast of the dangers. He disregarded the no snitching laws and decided to break his silence. This action will keep many men from being hurt or possibly killed in the future.

The Strip Club, Gentlemans Club if you live in the South, has become a dangerous place. President Barack Obama needs to sign legislation on this immediately. No to High Heel Shoes and Yes to Loafers!!! I believe this is a cause that even Pac Man Jones can get behind.

Yusuf Evans, you have been given The Needless Shiftless Minstrel That Does Ignorant Things When They Don’t Have Anything Else To Do Award. Congrats on your award from the Citizen Family!!!!

I’ll take mine to go please: The Taco Bell Bean Discrepancy

I don’t understand why Citizen Wifey doesn’t like beans. It’s not like its okra. Now I can see someone not liking okra because of the way it slides down your throat. It’s squishy and slimy. Those are two things that just sound bad when you say them together. But beans aren’t all that bad. Actually they are healthy for you. Citizen Wifey doesn’t see it that way and refuses to eat them.

So we went to Taco Bell last night to get something to eat. In the beginning, they messed up my wife’s order. I was standing there counting what we ordered to make sure we had everything. My wife was counting behind me like I couldn’t count. How hard is it to count chalupas and soft tacos? We were still in the restaurant so no big problem. I told them of the mix up and they gave her what she ordered. Now I remembered what she ordered because it ends with “no beans”. I thought everything was all good after that. I even ended up getting free cinnamon twists. I think my wife was mad at that because it was her order that was messed up. Well if you snooze you lose.

So we arrived back home to watch MSNBC. My wife has been looking for Robert Gibbs press briefings all week long. I guess she thought they would be replaying on MSNBC…..but I digress. We were sitting down eating and she bit into her meal and let out a yell. Uh Oh! They put beans in it!!! By this time my wife was pissed. I try to smooth things over by telling her to pick the beans out. Now I know in hindsight that was a dumb thing to say. You can’t blame a brother for trying. She then heads to get her coat and keys because she wants to be vindicated. Who knew that eating beans were such an injustice?

Usually when someone gets my order wrong I just let it go. I work under the belief system that if you complain too much, someone will spit in your food. I’ve seen it done. Don’t ask me how and where but I have. My wife is just the opposite. You are going to give her exactly what she ordered. She doesn’t have a problem telling a waiter to take something back. So based on everything I have said you know what happened next.

The details are sketchy because I wasn’t there. I have to take my wife’s version of events. Apparently she went back to get the same item without beans and another form of compensation. You probably said Huh!!! I know that’s what I said too? She wanted to be compensated for driving all the way back to Taco Bell.

**For all my white readers if you haven’t guessed, I’m married to a Sista**

Now back to the story

This is Taco Bell, so when someone wants compensation I’m thinking of food. Maybe they will give her soft tacos. Maybe she could get a carmel apple empanada, which would be a suitable choice….but I digress. So the Manager kept asking my wife what did she want. Or in layman’s terms “woman this is Taco Bell not Morton’s Steakhouse.” This apparently pissed my wife off when he kept asking what did she want. I will assume my wife was mad when she asked for the following: A Gift Card. I hope that they made her item before this because I know they definitely were spitting by now. Taco Bell doesn’t have gift cards for all those that don’t know…..including my wife. The cashier interrupted the madness to tell the manager to give her money back. You probably said Duh? I know that’s what I said too!!! The cashier probably was tired and ready to go home. The last thing a white guy wants to see at the end of his shift is an angry black woman.

The end result was not as satisfying as my wife probably thought it would be.

She received 2 bucks and no gift card.

Also she didn’t get any free food.

And she is still pissed off.

I learned a valuable lesson from this event. I need to go to Taco Bell by myself and take my wife to Wendys.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inauguration Day: The end of an Error…oops…I mean Era. (Also Known As) How America Got Its Swagger Back.

Hold Up!!! Who invited Clarence Thomas to this event? Well I guess even a dog deserves to come in out of the cold. Anyway……..It seems they had to drown out the Boos for Bush with music from the band. Sucks to be you George Bush…….

I am not much for all the pageantry but the performances have been good. That doesn’t mean that I will run out and buy a Yo-Yo Ma album though. Well, maybe if it’s in the discount bin. I guess Justice John Roberts didn’t practice before giving Obama the oath.
They should have had a Slam Poet give the poem. Did Maya Angelou retire?
I wish John Lewis would get off Barack Obama’s nut sack!!! Now all of a sudden you are boys??? Whatever dude. His congressional district overwhelmingly went for Obama when he was still supporting Clinton. When his job looked shaky he decided to switch teams.

Bye Bye Bush. People have been waiting for this day since 2004. It’s been 4 years in the making but we finally made it. I hope Bush doesn’t think they are cheering because they will miss him. They are cheering because they are ready for him to leave. Get your tail on that helicopter. They can’t get that machine fired up fast enough for me. George Bush truly has unified the country. People of all races and genders hate his guts…….(Finally at the Airport) - That plane flying away is a beautiful sight.

Rene Syler, (former host of CBS The Early Show), is co-anchoring Black Entertainment Television News for the Inauguration (they do news????). Oh how the mighty have fallen. Rene, BET…..Really????

ABC News interviewing Rev. Jesse Jackson…blah blah blah blah…

Senator Ted Kennedy, sad to hear about you and I hope that you get well soon.

Glad to see HBCU Bands in the parade. It seems there is a push to try to eliminate black colleges. Post Racial My Behind!!!!

Glad to see the Harding High School Marching Band. They spent so much time raising money and it’s good to see that it paid off. Besides I don’t believe there are many bands from North Carolina performing.

Well a wonderful day was had by all. Today was a celebration and tomorrow is when the real work begins. My frat brother asked me how I felt about today. When Obama was nominated in Denver I didn’t cry. When he gave his acceptance speech in Chicago I didn’t cry. Today when he was sworn in I didn’t cry. I always knew that if a black man was given a chance he would succeed. I knew that black men are competent and capable. We are not looking for a hand out but an opportunity. I didn’t need Obama to teach me this. I watched my father get up for work every day. I also watched him display intelligence and perseverance. While it is true that I didn’t think a black man could be President in America (Hey you didn’t think it either – stop tripping). I never thought for a moment that he couldn’t do a good job if elected.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Back in the saddle again

I’m back from my Pre-Inaugural vacation and I’m well rested. Well actually it was just 3 days. I see that I am back in time to give Vice President Elect Joe Biden a message. VP Elect Biden, tell your wife to keep family business in the family. If it’s that easy to get information, we need to send Oprah to Guantanamo Bay.

Traffic was very light this morning on the way to work. I just figured that everyone was in Washington D.C. I keep hearing about people going to D.C. without tickets and a place to stay. People traveling across the country just so they can say “I was there.” Movie Stars and Musicians have invaded the Nation’s Capital as well. It’s as if Hollywood, Manhattan, and Main Street have all merged into one.

I keep saying this and I will say it again. Obama needs to get someone to pray over the White House before he moves in. He needs to get those evil spirits out. No! Not George Bush. A house blessing though is never a bad thing. See you tomorrow for blogging on Inauguration Day.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Citizen Ojo’s pre-inaugural address to Black America. You know, before Barack starts work next week.

As Barack Obama begins his presidency, black folks need to have realistic expectations. Sometimes I hear the strangest things from people. Obama is running a country were black folks make up 13% of the population. To think that we are going to have run of the joint is ludicrous. The following things are not going to happen:

1. Al Sharpton is not going to get a post in an Obama administration.
2. No reparation checks will be sent out in the mail.
3. Black men are not going to be suddenly released from prison.
4. You will not be able to curse at your supervisor and expect to keep your job.
5. “Urban Issues” are not at the top of Obama’s agenda.

I do hope that some of the legislation that is passed will be a plus for minorities. Don’t get me wrong because Obama is going to do things that will make you mad. I truly believe that he will be a better president than Bush. The bar is so low so he can’t go any lower. While I am supporting Obama and wishing him well. He is still a politician so I reserve the right to keep a critical eye on him. That means I might criticize him on this blog if he does something I disagree with. Just because he is black doesn’t mean he gets a pass. Condoleezza “Sally Hennings” Rice has been horrible for black folks. If I had of started this blog earlier, I would have been blowing her up on the regular. But I don’t just take issue with “conservatives”. I have taken issue with Bob “Pimping Ain’t Easy” Johnson and Jesse “Nut Cracker” Jackson. I do not have a problem holding black folks accountable when they aren’t doing what’s right.

The next 4 years will be about Accountability. It will be about holding our politicians accountable…..especially our black politicians. We should expect more from people we place in office. We should also expect more from ourselves. For black folks, that means carrying ourselves with dignity. Doing the best in all we do and not being complacent. People will never give us respect until we respect ourselves.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Obama, add this to your to-do list.

Mr. President Elect, I need to talk to you for a minute. I know you have a lot of important things to do. President Bush didn’t give you much to work with so I understand you are busy. BUT when you get things straightened out, I need to holla at you. Don’t be scared because I’m not going to ask for reparations. And I’m not going to ask you to change your choice for Secretary of Education. Even though I don’t think he is as qualified as others on your short list (i.e. Dr. Freeman Hrabowski). I would like to change the word African American though. Why do I have to hold a distinction with Teresa Hines Kerry because she is from Africa? I don’t even like Ketchup. But I digress…….I have a serious issue that I need you to deal with: College Football.

I heard you talking about it on 60 minutes so I know that we agree. The BCS Bowl System is a complete fraud. Every sport in the NCAA’s has a playoff system. That is the only way for a team or individual to get a fair shot. It doesn’t make sense that undefeated teams are always left out of the National Championship. The championship is paid and bought by corporations. Insurance companies, restaurants, and banks all control this wicked system. How do you call a game the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl? This travesty has gone on long enough.

Mr. Obama, please convince the NCAA to go to a playoff system. I know that the NCAA and Greedy College Presidents will be hard to deal with. You don’t have to STRONG ARM them like Dick Cheney would. You can use your people skills to help you with this challenge. You believe in people working together for a common solution so it shouldn’t be hard. If you end up accomplishing this feat, you will go down as the Greatest President ever!!!!! Okay maybe not ever but a guy can still dream can’t he?

The passing of actor Ricardo Montalban

Ricardo Montalban, the Mexican-born actor died in his Beverly Hills home Wednesday. He was 88. Mr. Roarke has left the building. May you rest in peace on Fantasy Island......

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

There goes that “Post Racial” America again.

What’s up with the police shootings of unarmed men in NOLA, Houston and Oaktown? Is it a coincidence or business as usual? I say coincidence because of Barack Obama’s pending inauguration. Is the thought of America having the first Black president bringing out the “Devil” in folks?

Saturday, January 10, 2009

When to retire from Babysitting

Too bad McCain couldn't get a cover with Plastic Man

Roland "Copperfield" Burris

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have made this the best week ever. What started out as a crappy week ended with me laughing my behind off. I hope they give you your own television show.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Three down 11.2 percent to go.

That McDonalds must be on the "good" side of town. That's the only time you will ever see them that happy working at Ronald's. I'm am glad to see that McDonalds is trying to decrease the African American unemployment rate.

What is the big deal with qualifications? Not much from what I’ve seen

Presumptive Senator Roland Burris was banned from his first day of work even though he was qualified.

Levi Johnston, the father of Sarah Palin’s oldest daughters’ child, did not have the qualifications for the job he was working.

Roland Burris is the former Attorney General for the State of Illinois.

Levi Johnston was working in an electrical apprenticeship program.

Roland Burris has a Ph.D.

Levi Johnston doesn't even have a GED.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The Incredulous Credentials of Roland W. Burris

“Members of the media, my name is Roland Burris, the junior senator from the State of Illinois.” – (Would Be/Could Be) Senator Roland Burris
I wonder what would make a man want to take a job where he has to hustle backwards from the beginning. I have heard of black folks getting banned from the job but not on the first day.
Maybe/I think/Pretty Sure Senator Roland Burris was rejected from entering the first session of the 111th Congress. It was all due to his paperwork not having the proper signature from the Illinois secretary of state. The secretary of state Jesse White, who is a black man, will not sign because of the Governor Blagojevich investigation. Burris looked as lost as the Obama children on their first day of school. This act to ban him has been in the works for awhile. His real concern should be if Blagojevich signed off on his direct deposit.
Burris appears to have a very high opinion of himself and feels that he is more than qualified for the job. I saw pictures of his future memorial in Oak Woods Cemetery on Chicago's South Side. I was hoping this was a joke but it appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times. This guy’s tombstone is huge!!!! It looks like something the Pharaohs would have built. Looking at the monstrosity I am wondering how many Egyptian slaves died in making this thing. When you watch Burris work the cameras, you have to admit he is enjoying the national spotlight. During the past decade, Burris has lost 5 races for Mayor, Governor’s office, and the State Senate. His key selling point is that he was never beat by a Republican. That essentially means that he never made it out of the primary race. So he was not capable of making it out of the primary and was blown out by Richard Daley for Mayor. Is this really the right guy to replace President Elect Barack Obama? Citizen Wifey said that people shouldn’t be so hard on the man. She said you should never tell someone that they can’t win. She then started quoting Aliya’s song “Try Again”. Well I’m a half glass kind of person so I am looking at his track record. HE CAN”T WIN RE-ELECTION.
I don’t have any personal issues with Burris. He reminds me of the guy that stumbles into a taping of a game show and then becomes a contestant. If you had lost 5 consecutive races for political office, and someone hands you this GEM….you would take it too!!! We all know what Blago’s roll in this is but he is not the only Schemer involved.
Chicago U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald started all of this by acting like McNulty on “The Wire”. He was working Blago’s phones mining for nuggets of information and got the mother load.
He has two major problems with his case.
1) He did not set a trap for Blago with bait. Everyone from Miami Vice to Mike Hammer knows that you have to set a trap for the bad guys.
2) He did not wait for Blago to take the trap with the bait. He was too quick when he pounced on this. He should have let Blago meet a person (i.e. informant) and then transact business. He probably never watched the Marion Berry tape. Marion Berry was in the hotel to meet an acquaintance (i.e. informant) and a transaction took place. The transaction was really just him smoking a crack pipe but you get the point.

Now Fitzgerald is saying he needs time to put his case together. What??? He needs to go watch some old episodes of Perry Mason asap!!!
The Democrats don’t have clean hands either. The verdict is still out on Senator Harry Reid. Maybe he does or doesn’t want a black person in Obama’s old seat. He had a conversation with Blago and I want to know what was discussed. I believe the seat should go to a qualified (as much as you can be these days) person regardless of color. But if Reid was against a black person becoming Senator PERIOD, we have got issues.
I am currently in the process of changing my political party from Democrat to Independent. It took me all of 34 years (yeah I’m slow) to figure out that Democrats are just as racist as Republicans. Democrats in Appalachia and Manhattan don’t have a problem with a black being congressmen or mayor of a majority black city. But if they want to be the President of the United States, that’s when black folks want too much. This is the same party that played dumb during the Bush Reign and let him walk all over the constitution. Congressman Bobby “I’m back in Black Panther mode” Rush is the worst. He basically called Obama a “Tom” when they were previously running against each other in Chicago. Now he is the poster child for Black Brotherhood? I guess we just pick and chose what black folks we want to support. What a clown!!!! Burris is not going to become the next martyr for civil rights. They tried to give that to the Jena 6 kids and that is turning out badly. If Rush wants to weed out the racists, he needs to start with the people that were involved in the Clinton Presidential Campaign.
I’m not a legal expert so I don’t know if Burris will ever be seated. I do know one thing. His journey here has been paved with a lot of foolishness. I’m sure he will relish his time in the spotlight. Also he will eventually become a footnote in the pages of history. Before all of this happens though, I want him to do one thing. Check to see if Blagojevich signed off on his direct deposit. It’s not his fault they won’t let him work but a Brother still has to get paid.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Lawd Have Mercy!!! The Love Offering isn’t going to cover this one.

I heard Rev. Jesse Jackson talking about Church Foreclosures on Rev. Al Sharpton’s show. I thought he was lying about something again. Opps…. my bad. I meant to say that I thought he had misspoken about this subject. It turns out that the story is true. Some Churches are close to going dark and I’m not talking about during communion.

Friday, January 02, 2009

More deregulation? Too bad Endangered Species can’t vote.

Since the middle of Novemeber, I have been wondering what President Bush was doing. I saw he was still in good health when he was ducking and dodging on TV. What surprised me though was in November he was still doing Executive work. The Bush Administration was planning on reducing environment protection requirements for power plants, uranium and coal mining. I guess we missed this because we were distracted by the $5 Gallon of Milk, and the $4.00 per Gallon of Gas. I guess Bush figured his approval ratings were already in the tank, so why not piss off the Bald Eagle and the Lange's Metalmark Butterfly. I guess we still haven’t learned our lesson from the Financial Deregulations. As I have said before, Bush was under qualified for the job of president. He was a mediocre college student with a famous father. Add along the fact that he had the complexion for the connection and wala! Where is Al Gore when you need him? Where is the Indian that was crying on those commericals. I'll even take Smokey the Bear. Somebody has got to stop Bush. Al Gore, too bad you were such a bore when you ran for president. I know he was robbed of the Presidency but he was still lame.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

What does Experience really mean? Not much from what I’ve seen.

Let’s retire the word “Experience” so we won’t have to hear it again in 2009. That word has been used to death. It’s used by political figures to describe how qualified they are. At the end of the year, I heard the word used regarding Caroline Kennedy. Some people are saying that she doesn’t have the experience to replace Hillary Clinton. I don’t know if she does or if she doesn’t. What I do know is that a lot of people have experience and it hasn’t helped them.

Exhibit A: “The Big 3” – The heads of the three American car companies have plenty of “Experience”. That didn’t help them with building or selling cars. They didn’t pay attention to the smaller foreign cars and the higher Middle Eastern gas prices. These “Experienced” auto executives had to beg Congress to help save their companies. I can’t remember the last time I knew someone that owned an American car.

Exhibit B: “Hillary Clinton Campaign Team” – Yes the “Queen Bee “herself. She was surrounded with “Experienced” people to help run her campaign. They were beaten by an upstart candidate with a grass roots organization.

Exhibit C: President George Bush – AKA “Dubya”. He had “Experience” as the Governor of a large state. We all know how his Presidency is turning out. He went from landing on an aircraft carrier as a hero to ducking loafers. Oh how the mighty have fallen!!!

Exhibit D: Big Banks, Wall Street, Mortgage Companies, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, and the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Theses losers had an overabundance of “Experience” and they can’t even balance a check book. How do you not know how to fix the mess you made? I’ve watched my mother and my wife manage household finances. I believe we should get rid of these clowns and replace them with black women.

In 2008, we have seen that the word “Experience” doesn’t hold much weight. I think 2008 proved that experience isn’t everything. It actually proved that “inexperience” can be a benefit. So Good Riddance “Experience” because you just aren’t as qualified as you use to be.

Governor Rod Blagojevich, keeping it Black but not keeping it real.

Gov. Blagojevich played Houdini and pulled a switcheroo on us. He is using an old trick by pitting white against black. Blago, you might have black folks in Chicago fooled but I know what you are doing. You were caught on tape trying to sell Obama’s Senate seat. Now you are concerned with giving it to another “Black” person??? Yeah Right!!!

Black folks, you better watch for the hook……………….

Wow!! I see why he was in a hurry.....

What we didn't leave behind in 2008