Saturday, January 24, 2009

I’ll take mine to go please: The Taco Bell Bean Discrepancy

I don’t understand why Citizen Wifey doesn’t like beans. It’s not like its okra. Now I can see someone not liking okra because of the way it slides down your throat. It’s squishy and slimy. Those are two things that just sound bad when you say them together. But beans aren’t all that bad. Actually they are healthy for you. Citizen Wifey doesn’t see it that way and refuses to eat them.

So we went to Taco Bell last night to get something to eat. In the beginning, they messed up my wife’s order. I was standing there counting what we ordered to make sure we had everything. My wife was counting behind me like I couldn’t count. How hard is it to count chalupas and soft tacos? We were still in the restaurant so no big problem. I told them of the mix up and they gave her what she ordered. Now I remembered what she ordered because it ends with “no beans”. I thought everything was all good after that. I even ended up getting free cinnamon twists. I think my wife was mad at that because it was her order that was messed up. Well if you snooze you lose.

So we arrived back home to watch MSNBC. My wife has been looking for Robert Gibbs press briefings all week long. I guess she thought they would be replaying on MSNBC…..but I digress. We were sitting down eating and she bit into her meal and let out a yell. Uh Oh! They put beans in it!!! By this time my wife was pissed. I try to smooth things over by telling her to pick the beans out. Now I know in hindsight that was a dumb thing to say. You can’t blame a brother for trying. She then heads to get her coat and keys because she wants to be vindicated. Who knew that eating beans were such an injustice?

Usually when someone gets my order wrong I just let it go. I work under the belief system that if you complain too much, someone will spit in your food. I’ve seen it done. Don’t ask me how and where but I have. My wife is just the opposite. You are going to give her exactly what she ordered. She doesn’t have a problem telling a waiter to take something back. So based on everything I have said you know what happened next.

The details are sketchy because I wasn’t there. I have to take my wife’s version of events. Apparently she went back to get the same item without beans and another form of compensation. You probably said Huh!!! I know that’s what I said too? She wanted to be compensated for driving all the way back to Taco Bell.

**For all my white readers if you haven’t guessed, I’m married to a Sista**

Now back to the story

This is Taco Bell, so when someone wants compensation I’m thinking of food. Maybe they will give her soft tacos. Maybe she could get a carmel apple empanada, which would be a suitable choice….but I digress. So the Manager kept asking my wife what did she want. Or in layman’s terms “woman this is Taco Bell not Morton’s Steakhouse.” This apparently pissed my wife off when he kept asking what did she want. I will assume my wife was mad when she asked for the following: A Gift Card. I hope that they made her item before this because I know they definitely were spitting by now. Taco Bell doesn’t have gift cards for all those that don’t know…..including my wife. The cashier interrupted the madness to tell the manager to give her money back. You probably said Duh? I know that’s what I said too!!! The cashier probably was tired and ready to go home. The last thing a white guy wants to see at the end of his shift is an angry black woman.

The end result was not as satisfying as my wife probably thought it would be.

She received 2 bucks and no gift card.

Also she didn’t get any free food.

And she is still pissed off.

I learned a valuable lesson from this event. I need to go to Taco Bell by myself and take my wife to Wendys.


Anonymous said...

Uppity Negress believes in deducting from 15% tips when me and her go out to eat, or informing me that I left to much for mediocre service.

So usually I just don't tell her how much tip I leave anymore.

And we be going to some little bars up here in Chicago, and only spending like 25 bucks between the two of us on burgers, fries and drinks...and I'm like, Oh Lord here we go again.

But, Taco Hell, I mean Bell, that's a new one.

Citizen Ojo said...

Uppity Negro - Yes, Taco Bell. I'm still speechless.

Ben Hernandez said...

I don't even know what to say...enjoyed the post, though.

Anonymous said...

Whats wrong with beans. I could see if it was a rat. Was that the same person as Citizen wifey? She would have been more calm.

Anonymous said...

Whats wrong with beans. I could see if it was a rat. Was that the same person as Citizen wifey? She would have been more calm.