Monday, July 25, 2011

After 4 ½ months the NFL Lockout is over!!! Congratulations to the Groupies and Mistresses.

The streets are alive again!!!  Football is back!!!  For all of those loyal fans that thought this was going to be liquor-less fall and a tailgate free winter.  You can rejoice and know that Millionaire$ and Billionaire$ are back to doing what they do best – making that money!!!!  Granted, there will be some bitter folks that aren’t happy with the deal that was struck.  “First Round Draft Picks” who will be receiving a smaller paycheck than previous first rounders.  And their handlers Sports Agents that will be receiving an even smaller check. In the end, everyone will still be rich….well except for the fans that watch the sport.  But let us celebrate the win win situation for those that truly benefit.  The people that would have been hurt the most by the lock out.   Let’s give a round of applause to the true winners. 

Groupies – Things were looking stark for these individuals.  They were sandwiched between a National Football League lockout and a pending National Basketball Association lockout.  It appeared that they wouldn’t have anyone to chase behind.  Hockey Players?  Sure, I guess they could.  But Hockey groupies aren’t that colorful.  And if you don’t watch baseball, you couldn’t name a player if you tried.  But Football is America’s game.  Every Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Friday and even on Holidays you can see a game.  They even have Arena Football that is played indoors on a smaller field.  Then there is Fantasy Football for the “white collar” set.  Hotel Lobbies, Bars and Clubs (the frequent hang outs of Groupies) would have been empty all over America with a lockout.  Just think of all that money being lost.  The Club Owner makes his living by rustling up some lucky individuals to sit in the club’s VIP section.  The Hotel Doorman sneaks women up to the player’s rooms.  Look at all of these people that would have been out of work.  We can’t afford anymore unemployed folks in this economy!!!  Happy Hunting Ladies!!!

Mistresses – Without a football season, the players have fewer excuses to get out the house.  It’s hard to make a trip to see your jump-off when you are out of work.  How many times can you keep using the lifting weights excuse before it gets old?  These women needed this lockout to end more than anyone else.  They needed bills to be paid (mortgage, rent, car, gas, electric, clothing allowance, hair care, and jewelry).  Being a mistress is a part time job that makes up at least 30 – 50% of their monthly income.  Someone has to make sure these modern day gladiators are ready for battle (sexing them as much as possible).  Unfortunately their wives can’t do it because of their busy lives (tons of children to take care of/daily visits to the salon and spa).  Mistresses around the country can now let out a sigh of relief and rejoice in the good news. Go get your paper!!!

So I give a hearty salute to the Groupies and Mistresses. And I wish for them to have a Good Season!!