Monday, June 30, 2008

Tricking and Trucking: Love and Lust on Route 69

Just when I thought Citizen Wifey was silly complaining about four dollar milk, I stand corrected and am officially changing my tune. The economy has gone from a recession to a depression. You are probably asking me what source have I consulted for this information? What magazine or pundit has given me this information? My source is the oldest money making business in the world. Prostitution!!!

Now I didn’t interview the prostitutes myself because I don’t have the time. Prostitutes have really bad working hours. I don’t have the time to wait in a dark alley for a woman to get off her 3rd shift job. My information comes from the modern day brothels of Nevada. The state of Nevada has turned tricking into a very lucrative business. Ten Nevada counties permit licensed brothels with licensing requirements that range in the six figures. The working age must be 21, except in two counties where the minimum is 18. State law requires that brothel prostitutes must be checked weekly for sexually transmitted diseases. I haven’t heard of people at the clinic that much since my sophomore year of college. Also they must use condoms for all mandatory sex acts (use your imagination on this one). You are probably asking what does this have to do with the economy? I figure that if prostitutes are having a hard time making paper, then the fry cook at McDonalds must really be hurting. Using my George Bush career slide ruler provided by Acme Corporation. I see that both careers are listed in the service industry.

Rising fuel prices have kept truck drivers from stopping in on the brothels. The truckers have to make tough decisions. Do I want to do the huckabuck or pay for gas? The further the brothels are off the highway, the more money they lose. I guess when you are on the highway; it’s easier to slide in and out (pun intended). The hardest hit truckers are the independent ones that are contracted through a company. They pay for their own gas versus company truckers that have their gas paid for. Statistics from the Nevada Brothel Owners’ Association show that truckers make up almost 75% of the interstate brothel business.

Nevertheless the brothels are doing the best they can to get their business up (pun intended). They are offering special monthly discounts, gas cards and increased services when truckers use their stimulus checks. The truckers are taking their checks and doing exactly what President Bush wanted by putting the money back into the economy. All this makes me wonder if the non-licensed prostitutes are having a hard time as well. If they look like the ones that get arrested on the TV show COPS, then they might need to reduce their prices. They are already unattractive so they can’t charge top dollar. I guess they would really have to go down on their prices (pun not intended).

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Music showcase for the week 6/30 – 7/4

Question: Why put a music link on your blog? Answer: Because radio sucks. Listen to individuals/groups that should be on radio.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wow!!! Not you too Ma’am

I thought The Wire was a television (tell-lie-vision). show? When someone says “I’m going to stay focused on running the city,” it sounds Kwame Kilpatrickish too me. She better call Senator R. Clayton "Clay" Davis’ lawyer.

The Elephant, the Donkey and the Dummy

Ralph Nader is trying to impress black folks, but I’m not buying it!!! Since when did he become a spokesperson for black folks? I'm probably in the "Hood" more than this guy and I'm from suburbia. This clown comes up for air every four years and this is all he says? Message to Nader: you are late as usual - we did this already with Hillary.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Music showcase for the week 6/23 – 6/27

Question: Why put a music link on your blog? Answer: Because radio sucks. Listen to individuals/groups that should be on radio.

Message to the Black Church: Watch For The Hook

Disclaimer: this post is not about supporting gay marriage.
The Black Church has been bamboozled, hoodwinked, run amuck, and led astray. It has been Pimped up and Ho’d down by none other than the Republican Party. President George Bush promised in 2004 that if the Black Church voted for him he would save them from perversion. He was going to do this by stopping Homosexuals from getting married. Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the hills and George Bush wanted to fight Adam and Steve. Most Black Churches are located in terrible neighborhoods that are full of crime, drugs, homelessness, and substandard schools. What made them think that gay marriage was a major issue they needed to tackle? Did they think that homosexuals were going to invade the church carrying wedding cakes and bouquets? Whatever George Bush said to them must have worked because they passed the homeless man, crack addict, and student with no books to go vote for him.

Well once again black folks were duped. California has just allowed Homosexual Marriages and all hell has broke loose. People are running, flying, and roller skating to Cali just to get hitched. San Francisco has turned into the Washington D.C. of the west. Marriage licenses are being handed out like bad mortgage loans. I thought George Bush was going to make sure this day would never happen. Who fell asleep at the wheel to let this go down? George Bush must have been busy defending Scooter Libby and begging the Saudis to lower oil prices. Karl Rove may be the person that we can blame for this. He was the architect of the elections or as I like to say the “brains” of the operation. Maybe it was Vice President Dick Cheney that messed this whole thing up. Then again his daughter is gay so he might not care about gay marriage. Just as long as gay marriage doesn’t mess up his oil money; he won’t complain.

Because everyone likes blaming Republicans, I will stick with pinning this on them. The Black Church sold out to the Republicans for nothing. It was all smoke screens and mirrors. The Republicans wanted to elect George Bush and they needed all the help they could get. They pulled out their old bag of tricks i.e.… Conservative Christianity. They found a problem, created a fear and then told you that they can solve the problem by saying God was on their side. It doesn’t matter if they are fighting wars or stopping gay marriages. It is the same standard line that they use across the board. Meanwhile all the issues that the parishioners of Black Churches needed, still have not been met. Every night if you turn on your local news, you can see how black folks in the hood are catching hell. Instead of black folks getting the New Deal, they got The Raw Deal. Once again ** What made them think that gay marriage was a major issue they needed to tackle? **

The Black Church acted like they have never seen any gay people before. How did they let George Bush (of all people) give them the shaft? Let me point these church folks out so people can have a better understanding. The flamboyant choir director that wears blouses….. yep he’s gay. The two ladies that sit so close to each other in the pew that they look like siamese twins……. yep they’re gay. The usher that switches up and down the aisle….. yep he’s gay. The guy that dresses better than every man and woman in church and you never see him with a woman……. yep he’s gay. Blacks have had gays embedded in church since the doors first opened. Once again ** What made them think that gay marriage was a major issue they needed to tackle? **
I hope that black folks have learned from this little disaster and will not get fooled again. When you vote based on fear, you are giving away your vote. When you vote for people that only need you during election time, you are giving away your vote. Stop giving your vote away because it’s too important. The Black Church needs to get back to addressing the needs of their parishioners and stop politicking. As the saying goes “play your position”.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Gift & The Curse: A Black Republican Dilemma

It lately seems that Black Republicans are having a major dilemma with the election this year. Do they vote Democrat or follow the Republican Party line? The reality is one day their children, nieces, nephews and cousins will ask who they voted for in the 2008 election. The answer is what scares them to death!!! It’s hard telling the youth that they can be president and then vote against their dreams.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Crimes and Pissdemeanors (a public service announcement)

Now that Robert Sylvester Kelly (R Kelly) has skated oops... I mean acquitted on all 14 counts of soliciting a minor for child pornography. The Chicago Police Department has some serious work to do. There is a man that is running around Chicago urinating on under aged girls during sexual intercourse. The only description they have is from a grainy videotape, but they do have good leads. The individual in the tape looks very similar to Robert Sylvester Kelly the Pied Piper of Silky Sensual Seductive R&B. Because of this, they should be on the look out for any black male in the "Chi" that looks like they could have sung with Public Announcement or toured with Jay Z. That shouldn't be hard to find in a city the size of Chicago. I'm sure that this investigation will cover more ground than South Side Chicago. The Dragnet for this dastardly fiend should extend to Gary, Indiana just in case he tries to blend in with the locals. He has to know that the police will now focus all their efforts on catching him. I expect he will run, but like most inner city criminals, will eventually get caught at some sleazy motel around the corner from his grandma's house. I hope they lock this monster up and throw away the key.

It's a shame when young girls with stars in their eyes go to meet regular dudes pretending to be celebrities and get pee'd on. No telling what other look-alikes are out here right now waiting to take advantage of another unsuspecting girl. Sightings of look-alikes such as: Samuel L. Jackson peeing on a girl in Beverly Hills, Ludacris peeing on a girl in Bankhead, Al Roker peeing on a girl in Manhattan, Mike Tyson peeing on a girl in Thailand..... wait, my bad that was really Mike Tyson. When will the madness end? These indivduals have to be stopped by any means necessary. To all the people out here that have young daughters, sisters, nieces, or cousins listen up. When they tell you they are going out with a rapper/side-kick to the rapper/singer/actor/producer/DJ/Host of any Hip Hop T.V. Show make sure that it's legitimate. They might think they are going out on a date to Whataburger and the next thing they know they're getting super soaked.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Battle of Trinidad neighborhood

Times must be hard in the city!!! No let me take that back, times must be bad in the city. Crime is so bad in the District of Columbia that the police have to control neighborhood activity. The Police have to actually check who goes in to the neighborhood. If you are a resident then come on in. Not a resident? Get lost. When a neighborhood is so bad that they have to do checkpoints - you don't live on the same streets as Sanford and Son, you live in Fallujah.

If must be really hard to have a social life when your friends keep getting turned away at the top of the street. I know the American Civil Liberties Union is all over this with the quickness. I'm also sure some of the Trinidad residents will gladly accept the ACLU's help. They probably don't like the fact that they currently live in a police state. On the flipside, there are residents that are tired of living in fear. They are tired of being victims and want their lives back. As the saying goes "this is a sad state of affairs." It is a prime example of a few bad apples spoiling the whole barrel. I just hope it doesn't get any worse, because pretty soon they might have to throw the barrel out.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Music showcase for the week 6/16 – 6/20

Question: Why put a music link on your blog? Answer: Because radio sucks. Listen to individuals/groups that should be on radio.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

It just doesn't pass the smell test Mr. Bond.

I received two letters last week one from the NAACP and the other from an African American woman. The letter from the NAACP requested that I fill out a survey on Race, Gender and Equality. One of the phrases in the letter said "Ultra-Conservative politicians and pundits warning against putting anyone but a white man in the White House." The name signed at the end was Julian Bond, Chairman of the Board. I thought this was quite interesting since he was trying to get votes from the Florida and Michigan delegates counted.

"Refusing to seat the states' delegations could remind voters of the sordid history of racially discriminatory primaries," - Julian Bond

So not seating delegates is the same as black folks not being able to vote? The NAACP just hasn't been the same since Medgar Evers was murdered. The last of the real leaders have left the building and we got stuck with clowns.

The other letter I received said:
“Julian Bond is becoming a disgrace to his race. Did he really march with MLK? He has forgotten what that struggle was about! I heard, in the media, that the letter Julian Bond sent to the Democratic Convention, asking them to include the Florida and Michigan votes, was poorly written and not proofed, in other words, no class. Many years back when I attended an NAACP meeting, I wrote a letter to julian bond asking him to attend our meeting, referring that his status would make a difference. He, or someone in his office wrote me a nasty letter with Julian Bond’s signature stating "I was at the meeting, where were you?" I don’t know of anyone who has ever seen him at one of our meetings. Why did he have to write such an ugly letter? I wrote him off my list then. I believe MLK Jr. would be humiliated by the actions of Julian Bond and Bob Johnson. However, as my grandmother would say "birds of a feather stick together." They are disgraceful characters and Hillary’s too, (referring to case no 304174 in the County of Los Angeles and her campaign tactics) I could care less who these self serving men want to vote for, but don't try to trash a good Black man in doing so.”

Wow!!! Must be an Obama Fan. I guess the point of this post is this: Mr. Bond, what is the real goal of the NAACP? How can you compare delegates (people who already had the right to vote) to people that were fighting for their right to vote? Until you can answer this question, please don't send me any more letters.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Music showcase for the week 6/9 – 6/613

Tommy Guerrero

Hil St. Soul

Question: Why put a music link on your blog? Answer: Because radio sucks. Listen to individuals/groups that should be on radio.

Say┼Źnara and don’t forget to take Bill with you.

I’m not going to rejoice in celebration because Senator Hillary Clinton finally did what should have been done days ago.

In the last few months, I have realized that the Republicans were right about the Clintons. I also realized that black folks were wrong about the Clintons.

I’m sure that eventually the Clintons will try to get back into the good graces of black folks. They will probably do the rounds of chicken dinners and kissing babies trying to show how much they love the colored folks.

The Clintons showed us who they really are, with the southern strategy, “hard” working white folks, and the reference to a presidential candidate’s assassination.

They have forever lost my respect and my vote - two things that I hold sacred.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Pimping Politics

Lawd Have Mercy!!! I was sitting at work minding my business and Citizen Wifey sent me an e-mail about Bob “pimping ain’t easy” Johnson. Big Bankroll Bob sent an e-mail to Congressman James Clyburn, the House Majority Whip, suggesting that Senator Barack Obama think about putting Senator Hillary Clinton on the ticket. It’s times like these that I wish Aunt Esther was still alive. Why??? So she could beat Bob Johnson with that Big “A” handbag. Who does this clown think he is? Black man starts his own television network and he thinks he’s Warren Buffet. When did Bob get this kind of clout? Who told him that he has any say in political party business? Sure he has probably given some change to the Democrats, but does that qualify him for a co-sign. Not only was the letter out of order, but it was sent to the wrong person. As Fred G. Sanford would say, “You big dummy”. Letters like that need to go to Obama’s Director of Communications so they can read it, say “Negro Please” and put it in the shredder. No one cares what you think Mr. Johnson, because you lack credibility. You are not a war hero or even a community activist. Your greatest contribution to man is BET Uncut. Now because of you, young boys grow up trying to slide credit cards down girls’ behinds.

Don’t you have something else to do besides getting involved in grown folks business? I can think of a laundry list of things you need to be doing with your basketball team. Tell me why people are paying LA Laker floor prices to sit in the cheap seats? Why do you keep drafting these soft players and not going after top talent in the free agency? For a business man you have not impressed me with your know how. You have Nelly, the rap star, as part owner and we never see him. I’m sure at the games you could sell some of Nelly’s “Pimp Juice” in 40 ounce cups. “Pimp Juice” is not my cup of tea, but then again I am no pimp. You on the other hand Bob, are the biggest pseudo pimp we know. Michael Jordan has a big time position in the organization and I see him more on underwear commercials. Do you know how to market and advertise? Where did you get your business degree from, Acme University? Stop sending letters to the Black Congressional Congress offering your advice. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, Chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus, should have cursed you out after she heard about the letter. You know she is gangsta. Just look at her son Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and the stuff he is into. I can’t stress again how important it is for you to fall back. Please leave the politics to the politicians and the pimping to the pimps.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I know why White Women are mad but you too Sista?

The other day, my frat brother told me that black women were supporting Senator Hillary Clinton because they have issues with black men. This is from a black man that is married to a black woman so don't start the finger waggin with the "He must be married to a white woman" routine. I was really bothered by what he said. I s this true? Do they want her to win because she is going against a black man? Does anyone know any black female Hillary Clinton supporters? I need to talk to them to get the skinny. Tell them to hit me back ASAP so I can get a handle on this one.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Music showcase for the week 6/2 – 6/6

Question: Why put a music link on your blog? Answer: Because radio sucks. Listen to individuals/groups that should be on radio.