Citizen Wifey was on Facebook today (as she always is) and people were making comments about Fathers Day. One comment in particular really bothered me. I wish I could remember the exact words but it went like this: “shout out to all the fathers and the single mothers that have taken the fathers places because they are slack, not around etc etc.” I was a regular beat down dad day on Facebook.
(Disclaimer – not the actual quote but it is close enough to where you get the point)
What I’m getting ready to say will probably offend single mothers, and folks raised by single mothers. That statement was crass and unnecessary. It was a needless swipe at suspect fathers on a day we celebrate the good ones. I know that we have dead beat dads walking around here. But one the flip side we have dead beat mommas walking around too. But this is the day we celebrate the best of our men. This is their day and it’s not to be shared with anyone else (sorry momma). And it’s not for someone to lump in the sorry rascals that they know.
On Mother’s day the whole day was dedicated to momma, grandmamma and sometimes auntie too. Momma got a nice card, dinner and a gift. Daddy didn’t try to get in on the action. He knew his day was coming and he would wait patiently. So Daddy waited for his day and what did he get? A raggedy card from 7 Eleven, Burnt Toast and Runny Eggs, and soap on a rope as a gift. To top it off he opened up his Face Book to see a combined shout out with momma and a swipe at no good men. Listen ladies, I know some of you are upset with the men in your lives. I know you got beef with your Father, the Father of your children, your Boyfriend etc. But there are some good men out here that need to be acknowledged. Can they get one day of love????
8 comments:
This is so true. We don't give Father's Day the same due. I mean, we call up the house, mom picks up and we say "Put pops on the phone." He comes to the phone and we stutter through a "Happy Father's Day dad. I....um...love you" and he mutters back an awkward thank you and I love you as well, then we say "Put mom back on the phone."
I mean part of it is just how dads are--many times just the provider and disciplinarian and the idea of lovey-dovey kinda doesn't make sense. But in this day and age, we love to chastise our fathers for what they didn't do and we laud and praise our mothers. It's become passe to hate on our fathers and to treat them like crap. I didn't observe the FB and Twitter messages that clowned the dead beat daddies because I was out with my own father all day. But as I said in my sermon this morning, we shouldn't let the hang ups of fathers hold up our relationships with other people and most certainly with God.
Sadly, most people use their dead beat daddies as an excuse for their own shortcomings. That's bullshyt in my opinion.
Uppity - You are right about calling dad up on fathers day. It is a totally different conversation than it is when I talk to my momma. Yeah it is popular now to beat up on daddy but if you point that out you get accussed of sticking up for the deadbeat fathers.
I'm glad someone took time to say it. All the non-existent fathers are stealing the shine from those who do it 365/24/7. Could we forget those not among us for whatever reason so that we might celebrate those of us doing the best we know how.
But that seems to be the lay of the land. The negative gets so much attention until we forget that the positive does exist and exists in great abundance. And happy Father's Day.
How does it go...?
"Blessed is he who is father to the fatherless"
I actually had a great Fathers Day from the kids with whom I act as a father figure and their families.
Hope everyone else did too.
I've been on this campaign for a few years now, and some people still don't get it. I was on Twitter throughout the day bashing this type of talk. You shoulda been there; I get real bipolar on Twitter and hulk out on silly stuff.
Check out my post:
http://rippdemup.blogspot.com/2009/06/if-you-refer-to-father-of-your-kids-as.html
Fellas,
When I get my first kid we need to put a support group together...
bravo! Bravo Citizen OJO
A little late on this one...
I saw the same messages on FB. As a matter of fact - I sent text messages to two of my friends (female) wishing them a HFD. It was our private joke because the day is a reminder of what our children don't have. And yes, I am a strong advocate for father's rights.
On my blog, I gave a shout out to my late(best man in the world) daddy. I agree - Black fatherhood needs to be celebrated on this day. Clowning resumed at the stroke of midnight.
Kidding...
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