Pimping Politics

Lawd Have Mercy!!! I was sitting at work minding my business and Citizen Wifey sent me an e-mail about Bob “pimping ain’t easy” Johnson. Big Bankroll Bob sent an e-mail to Congressman James Clyburn, the House Majority Whip, suggesting that Senator Barack Obama think about putting Senator Hillary Clinton on the ticket. It’s times like these that I wish Aunt Esther was still alive. Why??? So she could beat Bob Johnson with that Big “A” handbag. Who does this clown think he is? Black man starts his own television network and he thinks he’s Warren Buffet. When did Bob get this kind of clout? Who told him that he has any say in political party business? Sure he has probably given some change to the Democrats, but does that qualify him for a co-sign. Not only was the letter out of order, but it was sent to the wrong person. As Fred G. Sanford would say, “You big dummy”. Letters like that need to go to Obama’s Director of Communications so they can read it, say “Negro Please” and put it in the shredder. No one cares what you think Mr. Johnson, because you lack credibility. You are not a war hero or even a community activist. Your greatest contribution to man is BET Uncut. Now because of you, young boys grow up trying to slide credit cards down girls’ behinds.

Don’t you have something else to do besides getting involved in grown folks business? I can think of a laundry list of things you need to be doing with your basketball team. Tell me why people are paying LA Laker floor prices to sit in the cheap seats? Why do you keep drafting these soft players and not going after top talent in the free agency? For a business man you have not impressed me with your know how. You have Nelly, the rap star, as part owner and we never see him. I’m sure at the games you could sell some of Nelly’s “Pimp Juice” in 40 ounce cups. “Pimp Juice” is not my cup of tea, but then again I am no pimp. You on the other hand Bob, are the biggest pseudo pimp we know. Michael Jordan has a big time position in the organization and I see him more on underwear commercials. Do you know how to market and advertise? Where did you get your business degree from, Acme University? Stop sending letters to the Black Congressional Congress offering your advice. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, Chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus, should have cursed you out after she heard about the letter. You know she is gangsta. Just look at her son Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and the stuff he is into. I can’t stress again how important it is for you to fall back. Please leave the politics to the politicians and the pimping to the pimps.