Saturday, August 22, 2009

How the correct terminology for Gonorrhea ruined my post on Black Love. AKA: Don’t be mad at me because I called it The “Clap” part II.

I had a conversation with a female buddy of mine from college. The discussion was about an article on msnbc online entitled “Marriage eludes high achieving black women”. Uh Oh!!! The mainstream media is reporting the woes of black women again. This article apparently had her upset over the bad news. After reading the article I even felt bad and I’m a married man. It gave the usual bad news that you can see on the 6pm and 11pm news before the weather and sports. It even alluded to the concept of black folks looking at other races for companionship. Uh Oh!!! Don’t roll over in the grave yet Denmark Vesey!!! This post is not going to be about interracial dating. In between our conversation, we got on the subject of STD’s. My female buddy works in the Pubic Health Sector and I always tease her about finding a new strand of STD. I called Gonorrhea the “Clap” and I called Pubic Lice “Crabs”. She informed me that my slang terminology is incorrect. We had a lengthy discussion about the “Clap” and “Crabs”. I just think that the “Clap” and “Crabs” sound more dangerous than Gonorrhea and Pubic Lice. If you wanted to scare kids into not having sex, would you say Pubic Lice or “Crabs”? The thought of Maryland Sized Blue Crabs hanging from my testicles scares me to death. As an adult I know that “Crabs” are small but a middle school kid might not know. I was a late bloomer when it came to sex education (you have to talk to citizen daddy and momma about that). I got a D in sex education because I couldn’t label the parts of a woman’s Uterus. It was so confusing….it looked like a catcher’s mitt to me. But I digress………

The conversation with my buddy gave me the idea for a post on the subject. I was going to do it up big with real facts and figures. Also I was going to add my world famous or infamous (depending on your opinion) wit. I needed actual people to give their experiences on this subject. So why not ask my buddy who was a single African America (are they still calling us that?) female for her input. I shouldn’t have attempted that because the conversation went downhill!!! She did not want me to use our conversation in the post. I told her that I was going to make her anonymous so no one will know who she was. That still wasn’t even good enough. That was our last conversation on the subject. She really made me mad because I felt she wasn’t being reasonable. If I said she would be anonymous, why would she still not help me out?

Then to throw more salt in the game, she criticized me when I posted the wrong information on my blog. This is actually my second post because I had to change some information. I was working on it early in the morning and I used Chlamydia instead of using Gonorrhea. Big Mistake!!! I had to spend the rest of my day familiarizing myself with America’s Sexual Diseases at I also remember asking her if I was TJ Holmes or Don Lemon would she participate in my post. You know what her answer was ---- YES!!!! My answer to that: Light Skinned Guys Win Again!!! If anyone has an opinion on the subject let me know? And if you refer to Gonorrhea as the “Clap” let me know as well. I can’t be the only person that uses that term?


uglyblackjohn said...

A cotton swab pushed into one's urethra is usually to test for "The Clap".
Blood tests are used for most other STD's.
Rolling one's balls in a doctor's (or nurse's) hand is a test for Chlamydia.

I used to be really active and can also name the "cure" for most of

Citizen Ojo said...

UglyBlackJohn - The more I talk to you the more I learn about you. Is there anything you don't know or haven't experienced?

Reggie said...

Citizen Ojo I would have to agree with you, I've also called gonorrhea the clap and pubic lice crabs......I still do.

I recall getting an "A" in Personal Health and Sex Education when I was in college; but I got an "F" in figuring out which women not to have sex with. But that's okay, sometimes the fun is figuring out the WHO and the WHY; particularly if you don't end up with lifelong effects because of it. What I do remember about crabs (I mean pubic lice) is that they'll make you scratch yourself in front of your grandmother and church.

I remember calling gonorrhea the clap once and my grandfather actually told me that when he was a boy it was called "the complaint". He claimed that a good dose of the complaint would make a man's joint (his penis) look like a foot....complete with toes.

Everytime I think about that I still laugh my ass off!!!

the uppity negro said...

everyone I know calls it crabs....

hell, i remember seeing pictures of them--THEY LOOK LIE CRABS!!!

and Gonorrhea is well, gonorrhea, not the clap.

But, i mean that's just like my friend who's daddy worked for the Chicago Housing Department and he went AWF when I started talking about the "projects." Dude turned and informed me they were "public housing units."

Hell, I stand corrected.

Citizen Ojo said...

Reggie - "but I got an "F" in figuring out which women not to have sex with." So True....

Uppity - I thought we shortened it to the PJ's to be more politically correct? Ha Ha.