Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Paging Davida L. Haywood Ph.D., Come get these BAD “A” kids!!!!

The conversation on the deficiency in public education is flawed. The politicians and media always talk around the issue and leave out one important element in the equation. The parents!! Everyone talks about these monsters……children but no one talks about the parents. The politicians are scared to talk about them because parents vote. The media doesn’t talk about them because……well the media doesn’t know what to talk about. But it’s obvious what the problem is. I talk to people that teach these chaps and they tell me the same thing. They are teaching future strippers, criminals and baby mama’s. The glaring point of the conversation is when they mention their dealings with the parents. They have to deal with the extremely low PTA attendance to the parent teacher conferences from hell. These kids aren’t just hatching out of alien eggs. They are coming from homes with parents or a parent. These kids belong to some of the worst parents on earth. They don’t discipline or educate their kids. My friend, who is a teacher, told me a parent told her that she should pick her battles with her child. WTH!!! These parents are bartering with their children. What I want to know is who runs the household???

The problem is that these parents are inept and lack the skills it takes to raise children. A parent has the unique responsibility to raise their children to be productive members of society. That means that parents need to teach their children social skills. They need to keep up with their homework and what is going on at their school. Parents can’t help their children with science projects if they are at the club. I don’t know where the downfall of our society started. We have turned into a society where children raise children. Lately it appears that parents are scared of their own children. I listen to talk radio and what I’m hearing doesn’t make any sense. This talk about reparations keeps rearing its ugly head. How does a check help discipline children? You can have brand new educational facilities with all the latest and greatest, but what good does that do if you don’t have students that are focused. Thugs don’t have a need for new computers? You have got to change the mentality of these kids. It seems that it might be too late though. Dysfunctional parents have abdicated their responsibilities to the public at large. It is now society’s responsibility to raise other people’s children. The teacher has supplemented the mother and father. Because not all kids are bad but some are unfocused. They come from situations that are unbelievable at best. Jail bird fathers, mothers bringing home different men, and don’t forget the neighborhood itself. These are ingredients for a troubled childhood.

Sometimes though these kids make it out of high school and find their way to college. This is why I am paging Dr. Haywood. With her Ph.D. in Educational Administration and Higher Education, she is the last line of defense. She has her work cut out because she has two sets of problems:. Kids that are in college but aren’t college material (kids that weren’t disciplined students in high school..i.e. poor grades) and kids that are college material but have a screwed up mentality (i.e. narcissistic, lazy, etc.). I don’t wish this responsibility on anyone but I know Dr. Haywood is up to the challenge. Who else is going to get them ready for the real world? Should it be the stripper mother, absentee dad, or club hopping grandmother? Nope!! We tried that already and it just ain’t working. Someone is going to have to have to take charge and get these kids straight. It’s the new American Way – when someone doesn’t want to do their job they simply pass it on. And since we are passing the buck, why not give it to someone in the educational field. Besides, my suggestion to lock them in the basement was rejected.


Francis Holland said...

As a step-father my kids are grown and so the jury is still out, but I can definitely identify with the statement that, "parents are inept and lack the skills it takes to raise children." I must be one of those (step) parents because I often think that the kids are running the store and two steps away from driving me completely insane (again).

I find that I really DO have to pick my battles, like the Supreme Court carefully picks the cases it takes, and leaves most lower court decisions alone.

When I hear my wife and her two daughters arguing over who left the DVD in the DVD player, I've got to ask myself, 'Is there anything at all that I can add to this conversation, aside from one additional combatant?'

So, I often sit and keep my mouth shut, express my opinions only about important things to my wife . . .

There's a parable in the bible: A disciple comes into the tent and tells Jesus that there are dozens of whirling dervishes outside the tent. The disciple asks urgently what he should do. Jesus says, "Let them whirl."

Here's one thing ANY parent can do: Buy your kids a computer and install PhotoShop and CorelDraw. (If you ask around, you probably have a friend who can give you these programs for free.)

Make Google the homepage of your computer, to encourage your kids to research things.

And if the computer won't work, offer your kids twenty dollars or forty dollars to fix it, because that's cheaper than taking it to a computer technician and it encourages your kids to learn to be computer technicians themselves.

With these skills, your kids are more likely to find work that doesn't involve washing dishes. I know my step-daughter got an internship because she knew more about computers and their programs than the other applicants did.

Teach your kids how to use anti-virus programs (there are explanations at Google) and make it their responsibility to learn to avoid and remove viruses.

Encourage them to earn money typing up papers or even researching and writing for others. These are all skills that will serve them well in the VERY NEAR future.

Teach them how to open computers and install new parts or replace parts. If you see a computer in the street, bring it home and open it up in front of your kids, so they can see what's in it. (I have a very successful computer technician friend who never finished college, and this is how he learned. His father brought old computers home so he could try and fix them.)

If nothing else, this will give you something constructive to do with your kids instead or just spending our time arguing.

Francis Holland said...

I meant to say above that my step-kids are NOT grown yet, so the jury is still out.

Citizen Ojo said...

Holland - so you suggest careers in technology? Are you saying that students should learn skills in school that they can us later on? If you are talking about a change in the school ciriculum that would reflect student intrests I can dig it.

msladyDeborah said...

I am a pre-K teacher. I am also a parent and grandparent. My sons taught me a lot about parenting. I made mistakes and forced myself to learn new skills to help me handle my business with them. It is definitely not an easy life role.

There have been times over the course of my classroom career when I have wanted to ask a parent-why didn't you use birth control? Not because I didn't like their child-it was just painfully obvious to me and other staff that parenting was not what they wanted to do. I also have met parents who have over come some amazing odds to do the best that they could for the child/children.

I have picked my battles. I was a single mother/a married parent/a single parent during my children's pre-adult lives. I learned that if I battled with them about everything I was opening myself up to become a casulty of those battles. I didn't do everything right but I also didn't do everything wrong.

The parents that I encounter these days are probably not as different as the parents of the past. What has changed is our attitudes about their skills or lack of skills. We expect parents to make the adjustments that are politically correct or on point with contemporary trends. For some parents that is possible-but there are probably more parents that do not see the purpose or feel the need to change their style.

I wish that I had the answer to how to solve the problems of the American education system. I really think that there are realistic changes that can be made. Especially in the national attitude about what an education should provide for the children who come through the system.

P.rofessional H.ater D.egree said...

Does this woman even work with kids? Are you trying to be the next Oprah? This topic seems to me a bit overcooked in the favor of a one D. Haywood. Are you trying to make her career? Should I know call you O-joprah? She must be a JCSU graduate the way you promote her books, cds, dvds, and FB page!

Kids will be kids until the become adults. I HATE kids that's why I don't support them. Kids have a plan...and that plan is to take over. Not on my watch!

All kids need is this famous speech: "They used to call me Crazy Joe, now they call me Batman!" A little Clarking will end all this rubbish.

HATE signing off.

Citizen Ojo said...

msladydeborah - "Especially in the national attitude about what an education should provide for the children who come through the system." I agree with your statement. I believe that everyone isn't college material, and we should match skills to what people are intrested in. This will keep them focused. BUT.. we still have a problem with parental involvement. There might be some parents that don't see what they are doing wrong but society is feeling what they don't see.

P.H.D - Yes a JCSU did you know?? You gave me an idea. Maybe I should rent a billboard on 485 with Dr. Haywood's picture. "Clarking"... I don't even want to know what that looks like.

the uppity Negro said...

I really do believe it's a break down of community.

It's not just in the black neighborhoods, but it's communities in general. Whites just can get away with it in a different manner, but as far as "us folk" it's leaving us far behind. That is part of the reason of this big ass educational gap between races.

I was listening to NPR (how's that for talk radio, lol) about two weeks ago and they were talking about educational gaps with regards to race even out in upper middle class suburbs. Something has happened that aint just an inner city ghetto baby mama drama single parent household problem.

That being said, if parents took a much more vested interest in the school life of their kids, I think we'd see a bigger difference. But when parents are of the mindset that their kids are perfect darlings and angels and that the teacher is the helper and not the enemy, we'd see a difference. And that's for the good schools.

At the inner city schools you have 22 and 23 year old parents, some with mothers who are still under 40 taking their kids to kindergarten--if they even take them to school in the first place!! And that type of mindset sets up for the kids to lose.

And as a side note, I really wonder what role does it play that the young kids see their parents battling against the young whites who do Teach for America and get put in the inner cities with their messiah-complexes.

Citizen Ojo said...

Uppity - I think it's a lowering of standards. Yes, whites have lowered theirs too. But there is a difference in the eyes of society. One kid gets arrested its 'Ah boys will be boys..youthful discretion" Another kid gets arrested "lock up that menace to society." Standards is the difference between a woman waiting for quality and settling for right now.
Do you think the Teach for America folks have a superiority complex. I always imagined that they believe they could do the impossible or what others won't do. I could be wrong.