Wednesday, December 22, 2010

If there is a crime involving Cookies, I know who the #1 suspect should be!!

For a guy that owned 3 restaurants, you would think he would be famous (well at least “Hood Famous”). Now when I finally hear about him it’s for all the wrong reasons. Charles Rivers aka Chip Nutty is missing!!! Apparently the cookie connoisseur hasn’t shown up to work since last Wednesday. And he hasn’t been seen since then, along with some office supplies. Oh, did I forget to mention his employees haven’t been paid. Uh Oh! This isn’t a fake case from the cancelled television show “Without a Trace.” This is a real live mystery. The Cookie Man is gone and the dough is missing!!!

I bet Rivers never thought he would obtain this type of notoriety. It must be hard trying to make a Chocolate Chip Cookie that tastes better than any of the current ones in existence. We mere mortals will never know the long hours of labor that goes into making a chocolaty masterpiece. Well Rivers knows!!

"A lot of the stuff in those (other) cookies is not real. It's not even real chocolate. If you taste my chocolate chip cookie you will pass out. You have to sit down when you eat my cookie."

~ Charles Rivers, in a 2009 interview with the Charlotte Post.

Side Note: I heard a female say something like that in college once but I digress……

I can’t stress the importance of finding a man that has 50 flavors of cookies to choose from. This should get the type of press that is usually provided to young white girls. We need to put Nancy Grace on this case! And tell Jane Velez-Mitchell to put a round table together to discuss this disappearance! How will I ever be able to go to his bakery if he never comes back? I don’t want them to turn his spot into a check cashing place. They will you know!!! The only business growing faster than check cashing is McDonalds. Let’s review this timeline that I have put together based on watching episodes of “Remington Steele.”

On March 19th, 2010 Chip Nutty received glowing reviews on their Cinnamon Rolls from Charlotte’s Creative Loafing Blog.

In the month of June 2010 Chip Nutty was featured in Charlotte Magazine Online.

On September 13th, 2010 some dude on gave Chip Nutty 5 stars.

On November 26th 2010 some lady on the blog raved about Chip Nutty’s red velvet cupcake with vanilla drizzle (there is nothing like a good drizzle, or so I’ve heard).

On Dec 15th 2010 Rivers doesn’t show up to work.

This is serious business people!! Either the man is a no good low down snake in the grass crook or the Cookie Monster’s got him!!!


Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the 1 connection this guy has|had on LinkedIn.

Citizen Ojo said...

Mr.Tramuel - check out his Facebook Page. The comments are weird.

Notorious Spinks said...

You're a mess honey. This is funny and sad. I can't help not to lmao!
Maybe business was not going too good for him.

Citizen Ojo said...

Notorious - sometimes folks get into business without having any business skills. Sure they can back a cake, fry some chicken but after that it's all downhill.

Freckles said...

uhm... I almost dont know what to say? well, nancy grace - not a good idea but I feel you and the cookie monster wont say anything that will make sense.

I feel like that this qualifies for a Kanya Shrug.

Citizen Ojo said...

Freckles - I know it's shocking isn't it!!!