Mediocrity requires aloofness to
preserve its dignity.
~ Charles G. Dawes
Becoming famous in America has become
as easy as ordering a number one at McDonalds.
Any Tom, Dick or Harry can be a star if they believe in themselves and
can get in front of a camera. But there
are serious pitfalls to having too much pride in your abilities. Sometimes you believe that you are great when
you really aren’t.
Hence the story of Herman Cain, a
former pizza executive that wanted to be Head of the American Empire. But as he ends his campaign, we are still
trying to figure out who he is? He tried
to shake off all previous allegations but couldn’t shake a 4am phone text. What married man sends a text to another
woman at 4am in the morning and periodically gives her money? Did I forget to mention that Cain’s wife didn’t know anything about this woman?
Cain sold himself as a Christian with moral values. And now a woman is claiming that he was
serving her more than pizzas? Cain needs
to call Eliot Spitzer for some advice ASAP!!!!!
Don’t forget the allegations from the many women that claimed he
sexually harassed them. For a minute it
started to look like a Tiger Woods Mistress coming out party.
When I first heard a former CEO of a
pizza company wanted to be head honcho, my mind started swimming. I thought it would have to be someone from a successful
well known company. Pizza Hut? They are tops in everything plus those
personal pan pizzas are the bomb!!!
Domino’s? I know they had some
issues but they are making a comeback and their crust tastes a lot better. Papa John’s?
So that dude in their commercials wants to be president? Little Caesars? I think their Hot and Ready Pizzas is an
interesting concept. But it has
cheapened the product a little. CiCi’s
Pizza? YES!!!…I love that place. I know their pizza isn’t quality pizza but
their buffet is one of the cheapest deals around (i.e. recession prices!!) Hungry Howie’s Pizza? I know I know, their pizza probably isn’t the
healthiest but those flavored crusts are amazing. Well that’s all the pizza places that…..wait
a minute...did you say Chuck E. Cheese’s?
No? Oh what’s that? Godfather’s
Pizza? Really? Where are they located? Omaha, Nebraska….are you serious?? Unless you are in the Midwest or the smallest
most backwoods town you could get lost in.
There is a good possibility that you have not enjoyed eating at a
Godfather’s Pizza. But none of this
stopped Cain, who felt that he had something to offer America.
But if he had something, only his
hardcore fans and the lady he was sending 4am texts to knew what it was. I don’t know if people actually believed in
him or they were just that pissed off at Mitt Romney. What can you say about a presidential
candidate that knew absolutely nothing about foreign policy? He couldn’t point to countries on the map or
pronounce them. He made light of his
foreign policy credentials and told us that the voters are looking for someone
to fix the economy. But wouldn’t it be
smart for him to know something about China, because we do still owe them
money. And because we still get oil from
the Middle East, shouldn’t he know something about them too. Not to mention Korea and India who will
become major players on the world stage in the next few years. I guess we’ll never know if Chuck Norris was
on the short list for Secretary of Defense.
So foreign policy wasn’t his specialty.
He still had his business acumen working for him. Who could forget about his financial plan that
sounded like an ad for a pizza commercial?
And based on the plan’s figures, it seems that a pizza coupon would be
better for you financially than his actual plan. His Chilean 999 plan sounds like something
you get at the Mustang Ranch in Nevada. Since
he was such a successful businessman, he couldn’t come up with anything better. I’m curious why journalists never asked why
Godfather’s Pizza wasn’t as well known as the other pizza chains. Wouldn’t it have been impressive if he took
Godfather’s to the highest level possible?
What if they were as competitive as the other chains..i.e. stores on every corner, online ordering,
adding chicken and pasta to their menus and putting more cheese in their cheesy
bread (because you can really never have enough cheese stuffed in a pocket of
bread). But in the end, all we know
about his time at Godfather’s is what the women that he allegedly sexually
harassed said about him.
Although Cain had no more business in
the White House than a 14th and K Street Prostitute, I hated to see
him go out like this. Just because I
didn’t think he stood a chance didn’t mean I hated the guy. I just thought he wasn’t qualified and lacked
the intellectual curiosity that I think he needs for the job. He reminded me of the drunken uncle that
always had these crazy life stories.
Even the dumbest stories seemed to be the funniest. My major problem with him was that he
pandered to conservative whites entirely too much. So much so that he seemed to dismiss black
folks as some lost group of people that needed direction. Did he not think that black folks (that
aren’t tethered to the Republican Party) weren’t going to vote for him? All
blacks aren’t liberals. You have a lot of
them that are Independents like me. I
can judge a candidate on their views and make an intelligent decision. And it doesn’t matter the gender or race of
the candidate. But what I won’t do is vote against my own self interests. And I won’t vote for someone that clearly wasn't
up to the challenge.
