And I thought this was a myth!!!!

New York Post Doesn't Want The Prez To Get His Romance On

What’s wrong with President Obama taking his wife out for dinner? If he had of ordered pizza from Domino's, they would have called him cheap.

I’ll take mine to go please: The Taco Bell Bean Discrepancy

I don’t understand why Citizen Wifey doesn’t like beans. It’s not like its okra. Now I can see someone not liking okra because of the way it slides down your throat. It’s squishy and slimy. Those are two things that just sound bad when you say them together. But beans aren’t all that bad. Actually they are healthy for you. Citizen Wifey doesn’t see it that way and refuses to eat them.

So we went to Taco Bell last night to get something to eat. In the beginning, they messed up my wife’s order. I was standing there counting what we ordered to make sure we had everything. My wife was counting behind me like I couldn’t count. How hard is it to count chalupas and soft tacos? We were still in the restaurant so no big problem. I told them of the mix up and they gave her what she ordered. Now I remembered what she ordered because it ends with “no beans”. I thought everything was all good after that. I even ended up getting free cinnamon twists. I think my wife was mad at that because it was her order that was messed up. Well if you snooze you lose.

So we arrived back home to watch MSNBC. My wife has been looking for Robert Gibbs press briefings all week long. I guess she thought they would be replaying on MSNBC…..but I digress. We were sitting down eating and she bit into her meal and let out a yell. Uh Oh! They put beans in it!!! By this time my wife was pissed. I try to smooth things over by telling her to pick the beans out. Now I know in hindsight that was a dumb thing to say. You can’t blame a brother for trying. She then heads to get her coat and keys because she wants to be vindicated. Who knew that eating beans were such an injustice?

Usually when someone gets my order wrong I just let it go. I work under the belief system that if you complain too much, someone will spit in your food. I’ve seen it done. Don’t ask me how and where but I have. My wife is just the opposite. You are going to give her exactly what she ordered. She doesn’t have a problem telling a waiter to take something back. So based on everything I have said you know what happened next.

The details are sketchy because I wasn’t there. I have to take my wife’s version of events. Apparently she went back to get the same item without beans and another form of compensation. You probably said Huh!!! I know that’s what I said too? She wanted to be compensated for driving all the way back to Taco Bell.

**For all my white readers if you haven’t guessed, I’m married to a Sista**

Now back to the story

This is Taco Bell, so when someone wants compensation I’m thinking of food. Maybe they will give her soft tacos. Maybe she could get a carmel apple empanada, which would be a suitable choice….but I digress. So the Manager kept asking my wife what did she want. Or in layman’s terms “woman this is Taco Bell not Morton’s Steakhouse.” This apparently pissed my wife off when he kept asking what did she want. I will assume my wife was mad when she asked for the following: A Gift Card. I hope that they made her item before this because I know they definitely were spitting by now. Taco Bell doesn’t have gift cards for all those that don’t know…..including my wife. The cashier interrupted the madness to tell the manager to give her money back. You probably said Duh? I know that’s what I said too!!! The cashier probably was tired and ready to go home. The last thing a white guy wants to see at the end of his shift is an angry black woman.

The end result was not as satisfying as my wife probably thought it would be.

She received 2 bucks and no gift card.

Also she didn’t get any free food.

And she is still pissed off.

I learned a valuable lesson from this event. I need to go to Taco Bell by myself and take my wife to Wendys.

Thursday Night Supper

After a long day at work, Citizen Wifey wanted to eat out. She did the “Wife Thing” and asked me where I wanted to eat (I hate when she does that). I said Taco Bell, but it was obvious that Taco Bell wasn’t even an option. Ironically she was carrying TGIF, or as it is called in layman’s terms: Friday’s, coupons in her purse. The whole time I’m thinking “why didn’t she have Taco Bell coupons”? I just wanted some Chulupas, maybe a cinnamon twist and head on to the house. I come from a family where eating out was a rare occasion. A night at McDonalds was the equivalent to eating at Victoria & Albert’s. My wife says she is into enjoying the dining experience. The Dining Experience? You go to Ruth’s Chris for a dining experience. You go to Friday’s for chicken wings and mini burgers. After a slow and painful shopping experience at TJ Maxx, (I think my wife bought a pair of mens pants), we headed to Friday’s. The hostess ended up seating us next to a rowdy group of women. They must have been co-workers or a ladies football team out on the town. They weren’t just loud but extremely loud. I couldn’t hear myself talk nor my wife. I don’t think she heard me when I was praying over the food. I just hope that God reads lips. My wife tried to do the “Sassy Black Woman” thing and started talking over the group. My wife isn’t a street fighter. She took ballet and went to a Magnet School. She was outgunned all the way around. There was some heavy hitters in that group (I’m talking 250 pounds plus). Like Kenny Rogers use to say “You gotta know when to hold em and know when to fold em no when to walk away, no when to run”.

My wife kept asking me if I wanted to move but I kept thinking… move where? You could hear the ruckus as soon as you hit the joint. I finally agreed to move because I didn’t want a drunk woman fighting my wife. I was happy that the women in question weren’t the usual suspects. You know…. the stereotypical loud black woman (don’t frown ….you know I’m right). It was a multicultural group, a loud coalition of the willing, so I was pleased by that. Don’t get me wrong because black folks were doing most of the talking, but it was a mixed group. In our new seats we were closer to the front, but it was still loud. The waitress could tell that we were annoyed so she felt sympathy for us. I believe my ear drums were busted so I could not hear what she was saying to my wife. I still can’t believe my wife didn’t like the appetizers. Who doesn’t like pulled pork wrapped up like an egg roll with bbq sauce for dipping? The evening hit an all time low when other patrons started becoming annoyed and wanted to be seated elsewhere. I haven’t seen white folks move that fast since the movie Titanic. They were grabbing glasses, plates, forks, spoons and any other silverware that wasn’t tied down. I guess subconsciously I didn’t like the way the whole scene played out. It looked like minorities were once again disturbing the tranquility of white folks. I wonder what my fellow patrons were thinking when they moved. Was it…boy that group was loud or….boy those black folks were loud. Maybe it comes from my Black Man Paranoia (sorry there is no cure for it).

Well my wife decided to let the waitress hear about our displeasure. I hate when she complains because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. The waitress said they kept telling them to use their inside voices. When did they do that? Was it after the first drink they served or the fifth? To say my wife is particular about customer service is an understatement. We haven’t been back to one particular soul food restaurant because they ran out of the delicious cornbread the day the restaurant was featured in a major weekly publication. I always drive by the place and wonder what the cornbread tastes like. I’m not the kind of guy that will let cornbread ruin my marriage so I keep on driving. I can only hope that our next experience dining out will be better. If not, Taco Bell has a drive thru.